How can you train HR professionals to handle difficult conversations?
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As an HR professional, you may face situations where you need to have difficult conversations with employees, managers, or stakeholders. Whether it's about performance issues, disciplinary actions, feedback, or conflicts, these conversations can be challenging, stressful, and emotionally draining. However, they are also essential for maintaining a healthy and productive work environment. How can you train yourself and your HR team to handle difficult conversations with confidence, empathy, and professionalism? Here are some tips and strategies to consider.
Before you initiate a difficult conversation, you should have a clear idea of why you need to have it and what you want to achieve. What is the main issue or problem that needs to be addressed? What are the facts and evidence that support your perspective? What are the possible outcomes and consequences of the conversation? How do you want the other person to feel and respond? Having a clear purpose and goals will help you prepare, focus, and communicate effectively.
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Guillaume Egasse
Chief Financial Officer | Master degree of Management and Financial Strategies | International Finance | DAF | DFA | CFO | HR | CEO | Global MG Consulting
Training HR professionals to handle difficult conversations effectively: - Develop active listening skills. - Practice empathy and understanding. - Provide scenario-based training. - Offer feedback and coaching. - Promote self-awareness and emotional intelligence. -Role-play and simulate difficult conversations. - Encourage open communication within the HR team. - Stay updated on relevant employment laws and regulations. - Create a supportive and safe environment for HR professionals to share and learn. - Foster a culture of continuous improvement.
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Elton Nathan
Building Apollo | People & Culture | Driving Motivation and Organizational Development | HEAD-L & OD
EI (Emotional Intelligence) should be an integral part of all HR personnel. A part of their DNA. A qualification that should be assessed before getting into a role as well. When EI is practiced, everything becomes natural. You listen more, and listen with the intent to understand rather than reply and thus Handling difficult conversations become a piece of cake.
Timing and location are important factors that can influence the success of a difficult conversation. You should choose a time and place that allows both parties to be calm, attentive, and respectful. Avoid scheduling a difficult conversation when you or the other person are under pressure, distracted, or emotional. Also, avoid having a difficult conversation in public or in front of other people who are not involved. Instead, opt for a private and quiet space where you can have a confidential and uninterrupted dialogue.
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Guillaume Egasse
Chief Financial Officer | Master degree of Management and Financial Strategies | International Finance | DAF | DFA | CFO | HR | CEO | Global MG Consulting
Selecting an appropriate time and place for difficult conversations: - Prioritize privacy and confidentiality. - Ensure a calm and distraction-free environment. - Avoid public or crowded settings. - Consider the other person's schedule and availability. - Allow ample time for the conversation without rushing. - Choose a neutral and comfortable location. - Minimize interruptions and distractions. - Emphasize confidentiality and trust during the conversation. - Create a safe space for open and honest dialogue. - Be mindful of cultural and personal preferences for meeting locations.
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Hannah Liberman
People Operations | Problem Solver | Enabler of High-Performing Teams
Springing a difficult conversation on someone is a guaranteed way to put them in a state of defensiveness. Set the stage by scheduling time in advance, letting the employee know what you'll focusing on and inviting them to share their feedback and viewpoints as well.
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One of the key skills for handling difficult conversations is active listening. Active listening means paying attention to what the other person is saying, showing interest and curiosity, asking open-ended questions, and paraphrasing or summarizing their main points. Active listening helps you understand the other person's perspective, feelings, and needs, and shows them that you care and respect them. Empathy is another skill that can help you handle difficult conversations. Empathy means putting yourself in the other person's shoes and trying to feel what they feel. Empathy helps you avoid judgment, criticism, or blame, and instead focus on finding common ground and solutions.
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Guillaume Egasse
Chief Financial Officer | Master degree of Management and Financial Strategies | International Finance | DAF | DFA | CFO | HR | CEO | Global MG Consulting
Practicing active listening and empathy during difficult conversations: - Pay close attention to the speaker. - Show genuine interest and curiosity. - Ask open-ended questions to encourage dialogue. - Summarize or paraphrase to confirm understanding. - Validate the other person's perspective and emotions. - Avoid judgment, criticism, or blame. - Try to understand their feelings and needs. - Use empathetic statements to convey understanding. - Maintain a non-confrontational and respectful tone. - Aim to find common ground and collaborative solutions.
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Pearl P. Tehoda, CMP, ChPA, MBA
Business Development | Strategy & Policy Implementation | Communication | Advocacy
Being conscious of the other party's emotions is critical to having difficult conversations. Employ Empathy Be objective as much as possible. Choose your environment carefully
The way you express yourself during a difficult conversation can make a big difference in how the other person reacts and responds. You should use clear and respectful language that avoids ambiguity, confusion, or aggression. For example, you can use "I" statements to express your own observations, feelings, and needs, rather than "you" statements that may sound accusatory or defensive. You can also use positive and constructive feedback to highlight strengths and areas for improvement, rather than negative and destructive feedback that may demoralize or discourage. You can also use polite and courteous words and tone to show respect and appreciation, rather than rude or sarcastic words and tone that may provoke or offend.
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Guillaume Egasse
Chief Financial Officer | Master degree of Management and Financial Strategies | International Finance | DAF | DFA | CFO | HR | CEO | Global MG Consulting
Using clear and respectful language in difficult conversations: - Express yourself clearly to avoid misunderstandings. - Use "I" statements to convey your observations, feelings, and needs. - Offer positive and constructive feedback. - Highlight strengths and areas for improvement. - Choose polite and courteous words and tone. - Show respect and appreciation for the other person. - Avoid accusatory or defensive "you" statements. - Steer clear of negative or destructive feedback. - Maintain a non-confrontational and professional tone. - Strive for effective communication and mutual understanding.
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Shalini Singh
Senior Lead- People & Business Partner
No matter who the other person is, always deal with situations calmly and converse in a very respectful manner no matter how bad the situation is. Be clear with what you have to say and instead of negatively handling statements, see what can be done with appreciation and constructive feedback.
Difficult conversations can trigger strong emotions and reactions from both parties. You may feel angry, frustrated, hurt, or anxious, while the other person may feel defensive, resentful, guilty, or fearful. These emotions and reactions can interfere with your ability to communicate effectively and reach a positive outcome. Therefore, you should manage your own emotions and reactions, as well as the other person's, during a difficult conversation. You can do this by taking deep breaths, pausing, and calming yourself before you speak or respond. You can also acknowledge and validate the other person's emotions and reactions, and show empathy and support. You can also use humor, if appropriate, to lighten the mood and ease the tension.
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Bianca Bernardez, SPHR, SHRM-CP, MHRM
Strategic HR Business Partner | Coach | Facilitator | Culture Champion | Mentor | Thought Partner
Make sure you are emotionally prepared before entering the conversation. Clear your energy. In clearing your energy and giving yourself space to process your emotions provides you with the advantage in making sure you are in full control of how you show up. Take some time to journal to fully understand your experience so that you can clearly communicate that. Think to yourself: Is there an assumption that I am making? Is there a story I am creating about them or me? Where are these feelings coming from? The more self-aware you are of your triggers the better. Furthermore, it is absolutely okay to get some help with this (coaching, therapy, phone a friend). Lastly difficult conversations are a character builders and an opportunity to grow.
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Toghrul Hajiyev
Human Resources Connoisseur | Talent Whisperer | Organization & Learning & Development Trailblazer
As one of the soft skills, negotiation skill is not easy to improve, but it's possible. My personal advice is leaving your own idendity in outside before you enter the conversation. Most of the times, people can't control their emotions, but as an HR professional, you can't allow that happen. If you don't take personally your interlocutor's reactions, it's going to be much easier to control yourself. That's why remember: you're not yourself in this conversation, you're someone representing the company.
The ultimate goal of a difficult conversation is to find solutions that address the issue or problem and improve the situation. You should seek solutions that are realistic, fair, and mutually beneficial for both parties. You should also involve the other person in the problem-solving process, and ask for their input, ideas, and feedback. You should also agree on specific actions, responsibilities, and deadlines that will help implement the solutions. Finally, you should follow up with the other person after the conversation, and check on their progress, satisfaction, and feedback. You should also celebrate successes, acknowledge challenges, and make adjustments if needed.
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Himanshu Patni
SHRM - SCP | Apollo Health & Lifestyle | Ex - ICICI & Vedanta Group | IIM Ranchi
Training HR professionals in managing difficult conversations should emphasize seeking solutions and effective follow-up. HR should be prepared to collaboratively work with employees to identify practical resolutions to the issues discussed during the conversation. This training should also stress the importance of setting clear expectations and timelines for any follow-up actions. By doing so, HR professionals can demonstrate their commitment to resolving problems and supporting employees, ultimately fostering a positive work environment and ensuring that the conversation leads to meaningful, sustainable solutions. Training should equip HR professionals with these skills to drive positive outcomes from difficult discussions.
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Christian Günther
Geschäftsführer bei hrnatives GmbH - Wir machen Personalabteilungen fit für die Zukunft.
Ein guter Ansatz für eine effektive Lösungsfindung ist der Ansatz der Mediation. In diesem Ansatz sind wir nur Vermittler zwischen den Parteien und moderieren die Lösungsfindung, ohne eigene Vorschläge einzubringen. Das kann durch Visualisierung geschehen, den Ausgleich von Redezeiten und die Schlichtung bei aufkommenden Schuldzuschreibungen. Der Gedanke dahinter ist es, dass selbst entwickelte Lösungen wesentlich nachhaltiger sind, als wenn diese von außen vorgegeben oder vorgeschlagen werden. Um das Ergebnis festzuhalten, kann ein formloser "Vertrag" geschlossen werden, aus dem auch das weitere Handeln und der gemeinsame Umgang für die Zukunft hervorgehen.
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Claire Stroh, MBA, PHR, SHRM-CP
Helping SMBs with talent attraction & retention @ Lighthouse Technology Services | HR Pro | Career Advancement Coach helping you confidently network & attract opportunities | SHRM Speaker, Mentor & Former EPAC Member 💜
Practice! I like to reach out to my fellow HR colleagues, or HR community contacts when I've been in an HR department of one role, to get their take on the situation. Always trust your own judgement first, and share how you would handle it, then ask for input and feedback. Getting insights from a variety of HR Pros over the year has helped me hone my skills and personalized approach. Early in my career, I would do a lot of listening, thank people for sharing, and let them know I would get back to them within X time frame with action items and next steps. As I advance in my career, I get more comfortable with handling conversation in the moment clearly and offering immediate solutions.
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Lochan Narayanan (She/Her)
Building OfExperiences | Entrepreneur on the go| Leadership Coach (ICF-ACC)|Podcast Host- Career Uninterrupted
As HR professionals, we are expected to possess this skill by default. However, most of us are equally clueless and learn on the job (not the most optimum situation) - Start by acknowledging that you need guidance and support in building this skill. - Seek guidance from someone who has done this before and take some practical tips - Have your own safe space where you can vent/share/just be that helps you rejuvenate after a difficult conversation - Work with a coach/mentor to hone this specific skill. This can be impeded by our own beliefs too. - Remember, it is not personal.