How can you develop emotional intelligence when working with senior leaders?
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Emotional intelligence (EI) is the ability to understand and manage your own and others' emotions, especially in complex and stressful situations. EI is a crucial skill for senior leaders, who need to inspire, influence, and collaborate with diverse stakeholders, from employees and customers to investors and regulators. However, developing EI is not always easy, especially for leaders who are used to relying on their technical expertise, authority, or charisma. In this article, we will explore some practical ways to enhance your EI when working with senior leaders.
The first step to developing your EI is to assess your current level of emotional awareness, regulation, expression, and empathy. You can use various tools, such as self-assessments, feedback surveys, or coaching sessions, to identify your strengths and weaknesses in these areas. For example, you can ask yourself how often you recognize, name, and accept your emotions, how well you cope with stress and frustration, how effectively you communicate your feelings and needs, and how attentive you are to others' emotions and perspectives.
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Ron Ricci
Helping you build the culture you want
I've found, as I moved from an individual contributor to a senior executive, that it is critical to be self-aware of how to avoid the worst of me. I remember early in my sales career a gracious prospect telling me I was being too defensive in my pitch when they objected. I was lucky to get feedback so specific that I could prepare myself emotionally for feedback that didn't go my way. Every important meeting I've ever gone into since then I've prepared myself emotionally by simply saying to myself, "don't be defensive." Have a ritual based on feedback. Practice the ritual. Stick to the ritual.
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Cynthia A.
Before you can grow your EI or EQ, you need to know your baseline or starting point. There are various books and tools available to do this. Its important to understand the EQ assessment tools are subjective so different tools can provide different results and your score can change over time.
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Roberto Vidal
COO | Director of Operations | Services | Membro Open Mind Brasil
I would recommend people to understand IE prior to trying to self evaluate themselves. EI can be initially defined in 5 components: 1) Self awarness - Ability to recognize emotions happening in you 2) Self regulation - Ability to control your actions under an emotional state 3) Self motivation - Ability to change your emotional state 4) Empathy - Deeply understand other emotions 5) Effective Relationships - Real relationship with less politics and more personal care With this in mind people can start self evaluation and try to design a evolution path in their EQ journey. I strongly recommend talk to people close to you to understand how they see you considering this five components as you can add another perspective to you evalution.
The second step to developing your EI is to learn from other senior leaders who demonstrate high levels of emotional intelligence. You can observe, ask, or emulate how they handle challenging situations, such as delivering bad news, resolving conflicts, motivating teams, or dealing with change. You can also seek their advice, feedback, or mentorship on how to improve your EI skills. For example, you can ask them how they balance their emotions and logic, how they manage their energy and emotions, how they express their emotions in different contexts, and how they empathize with different stakeholders.
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Kristin Smith (Tisdale)
Head of Business Development @ The Leadership Consortium (TLC) | Ex-Retail Executive Saks, Nordstrom l Member Chief l Member The Wie Suite
When seeking to learn from someone who excels in Emotional Intelligence, consider asking a question that is both straightforward and specific. For instance, you might ask, 'I've noticed that when you engage with others, there's a deeper level of connection that I find challenging to establish. Could you share some of the skills or tools you employ to enhance your Emotional Intelligence within your team? I'm eager to learn from your expertise.
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Helly Torres
PC Security Response Leader @ HP | Co-Founder @ Making Millennium | "I'm focused on contributing in areas that matter to the future."
Mentorship is important. I'd like to just add- if you already have a mentor EI is a perfect topic to cover. Don't forget outside learning. [books, podcasts, others, etc.]
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Malvin Delgado
International Sales Director | Energy Business Expert | Commercial Excellence & Strategy Specialist | Operations Leader and P&L Owner | Inspiring People Leader | Truly Passionate for Clients | Entrepreneur
From the experience I've gained, learning from Emotional Intelligence (EI) role models is a powerful method to enhance your EI when working with senior leaders. Identify individuals who excel in EI and observe their interactions, communication style, and responses to challenging situations. By emulating their behaviors and adopting their strategies, you can further develop your own EI skills. This process not only offers practical insights into navigating complex professional relationships but also helps you become a more effective and empathetic collaborator with senior leaders. Leveraging the wisdom of EI role models is a valuable step towards personal and professional growth in leadership contexts.
The third step to developing your EI is to practice your EI skills daily, in both personal and professional settings. You can use various strategies, such as journaling, meditation, breathing exercises, or positive affirmations, to increase your emotional awareness and regulation. You can also use various techniques, such as active listening, assertive communication, or nonverbal cues, to enhance your emotional expression and empathy. For example, you can write down your emotions and thoughts, practice mindfulness, breathe deeply, or repeat positive statements, to calm yourself and prepare for difficult conversations. You can also listen attentively, speak respectfully, or use appropriate body language, to convey your emotions and understand others' emotions.
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Jon Antonucci
Founder @ SML Consultive | Leadership Development Expert
I have found that, while there is great value in reading articles, having roundtable discussions, and the like, there is simply no more effective strategy for Emotional Intelligence than to simply PRACTICE! I know many people who can give all of the right answers on this topic but seemingly have no ability to actually demonstrate it! We may not be perfect from day one. But, we can improve and practice is the fastest most effective way to do that! Simply trying will help in so many ways! Let's get started! :)
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Helly Torres
PC Security Response Leader @ HP | Co-Founder @ Making Millennium | "I'm focused on contributing in areas that matter to the future."
Let's also schedule mock scenarios to respond to. Fortunately for many of us, our day-to-day may not require lots of EI practice, but we can run practice scenarios that would absolutely require this.
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Malvin Delgado
International Sales Director | Energy Business Expert | Commercial Excellence & Strategy Specialist | Operations Leader and P&L Owner | Inspiring People Leader | Truly Passionate for Clients | Entrepreneur
Based on the experience I've gained, daily practice is essential for developing emotional intelligence (EI) when collaborating with senior leaders. Consistent, intentional efforts to apply EI skills in various work-related situations can significantly improve your ability to understand and manage emotions, both yours and those of others. This practice can encompass active listening, empathy, and responding thoughtfully to difficult conversations or conflicts. Over time, I've found that this daily commitment not only enhances your EI but also strengthens your professional relationships and equips you to work more effectively with senior leaders. Daily practice is the key to unlocking the full potential of EI in a leadership role.
The fourth step to developing your EI is to seek feedback and support from others who can help you grow and learn from your experiences. You can use various sources, such as peers, colleagues, managers, or coaches, to get honest and constructive feedback on your EI performance and progress. You can also use various resources, such as books, podcasts, courses, or workshops, to gain more knowledge and insights on EI concepts and practices. For example, you can ask others to rate your EI skills, give you specific examples of your EI behaviors, or suggest areas for improvement. You can also read books, listen to podcasts, take courses, or attend workshops, to learn more about EI theories and models.
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Malvin Delgado
International Sales Director | Energy Business Expert | Commercial Excellence & Strategy Specialist | Operations Leader and P&L Owner | Inspiring People Leader | Truly Passionate for Clients | Entrepreneur
In my experience, seeking feedback and support is a critical strategy for developing emotional intelligence (EI) when collaborating with senior leaders. By actively soliciting feedback from colleagues, mentors, or even senior leaders themselves, you can gain valuable insights into your EI strengths and areas that need improvement. Additionally, seeking support through coaching or EI training programs can provide you with the necessary tools and guidance to enhance your emotional intelligence. Acknowledging that EI is a skill that can be honed with practice and feedback has been instrumental in my own growth in this area, ultimately contributing to more effective and harmonious working relationships with senior leaders.
The fifth step to developing your EI is to celebrate your EI achievements and recognize the benefits of your EI efforts. You can use various methods, such as self-praise, rewards, or recognition, to acknowledge your EI accomplishments and motivate yourself to keep improving. You can also use various measures, such as performance, satisfaction, or impact, to evaluate the outcomes of your EI actions and appreciate the value of your EI skills. For example, you can compliment yourself, treat yourself, or share your success, when you achieve an EI goal or overcome an EI challenge. You can also track your performance, satisfaction, or impact, when you use your EI skills to achieve a business or personal objective.
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Malvin Delgado
International Sales Director | Energy Business Expert | Commercial Excellence & Strategy Specialist | Operations Leader and P&L Owner | Inspiring People Leader | Truly Passionate for Clients | Entrepreneur
Drawing from my experience, celebrating your emotional intelligence (EI) achievements is a vital aspect of its development when working with senior leaders. Recognizing and appreciating the progress you make in understanding and managing emotions, enhancing interpersonal relationships, and navigating challenging situations can boost your confidence and motivation. Celebrating these milestones, no matter how small, reinforces your commitment to EI growth. Moreover, it creates a positive cycle where your increased EI helps build better working relationships with senior leaders, resulting in a more productive and harmonious professional environment.
The sixth step to developing your EI is to adapt your EI style to different situations, people, and cultures. You can use various tools, such as emotional agility, situational awareness, or cultural intelligence, to adjust your EI approach and behavior according to the context and the audience. You can also use various skills, such as curiosity, flexibility, or humility, to learn from and respect the diversity and complexity of emotions and perspectives. For example, you can use emotional agility to switch between different emotions and responses, situational awareness to assess the emotional climate and expectations, or cultural intelligence to understand the emotional norms and values of different groups. You can also use curiosity to explore and appreciate the emotions and views of others, flexibility to adapt and compromise, or humility to admit and correct your mistakes.
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Helly Torres
PC Security Response Leader @ HP | Co-Founder @ Making Millennium | "I'm focused on contributing in areas that matter to the future."
Be authentic to yourself. You and how you respond should also feel natural to you. Although the approach may be similar or learned how you deliver will not be. Lean into your character, your management style, and how you personally communicate.
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Dr. Raymond Youngblood, Jr.
Minerals Extractor | Created the Hybrid Currency | Paramount Chief | @YoungbloodIndustries | From Louisiana, USA
1/3 Of Life Without clear direction, any road will take you to where you are going. Many young executives navigating an emotional path alone, veterans know the emotional toll. Embracing role models doesn't diminish individuality; borrowing traits can be enriching. With +/- 30,000 days in life, a third isn't spent on a career. 1. Mirror: Pay attention to their emotional style as senior leaders; mirror them. 2. Ask: Seek mentoring, no one ever ask leaders to be mentored on emotional intelligence, emotional support is not the same. 3. Stress: Senior leaders often deal with complex and high-stakes situations so they can teach you. 4. Non-Verbal: Emotion extends to non-verbal communication (body language, facial expressions, and gestures.)